mobile phones and toilet cubicles

Doesn’t seen like those two things go together? Yes, I thought so too, but I was willing to test the concept. You know me, open minded as a very open-minded thing.

Imagine this. I’m at work and need to visit the euphemism. It happens. It’s why euphemisms are provided in the workplace, I believe.

I walked in and there’s a lady on the phone. A workmate lady. She turns around and acknowledges me then keeps talking. I figure she’ll finish the conversation and leave. But no…

I’m in the cube. I hear “Oh, and happy birthday, by the way!”  Then more information about birthday-related stuff.

“Nice,” I think. She’s just doing the obligatory Happy Birthday thing and then she’ll hang up and leave.

By this time, reader, I am in the cubicle and ready to wee.

[Sorry if this is too graphic for you but that's probably about as bad as it gets in this post.]

Then, she starts on about hand towels. Seriously. A new conversation. We’ve moved on from the birthday greetings to hand towels???

I suddenly had this strange sensation of being on a tram. On public transport with my undies down [sorry, there's no other way to say it]

I had a meeting to go to, and desperate need to relieve myself. And I was frozen, anxious, unable to perform due to some deap seated fear of weeing in public. So I took matters into my own hands and said “Excuse me, this isn’t working.”

[It's really hard to figure out what to say at those times, it was the best I could do.]

Her response? “Would you like me to leave?”

My retort ? “Yes please.”

And out she went.

Ye gods.

The results are in: mobile phones and toilet cubicles do not go together!

Tags: mobile phone, toilet